Lovern Gordon of Love Life Now Foundation
Lovern Gordon is the Founder of Love Life Now Foundation, Inc. (LLN) which promotes year-round awareness around domestic violence (DV), via its initiatives, points people in the right direction for help and helps bridge the gap between DV shelters and communities they serve. She is also the author of The Legacy He Left Me – a domestic violence memoir.
THE LOVE LIFE NOW FOUNDATION JOURNEY
Lovern talks about how she began the Love Life Now Foundation journey by hosting initiatives in the community that got people talking about the issues around domestic violence. She came to the issue as a survivor of domestic violence and talks about the image that she had in her mind of what a victim was based on her childhood. She then talks about her experience with dv in a future relationship and how her childhood experiences molded into that. She talks about a common question that comes up which is how victims get into relationships with dv and talks about some of the abuse and mental components that can be a factor. She also talks about the shame that she felt and when she finally sought help.
CHANGING THE NARRATIVE
Lovern discusses how she works to change the narrative around domestic violence and educate around the many ways that dv can be present in a relationship. She emphasizes that physical scars will tend to heal over the course of time but that emotional scars stick with you for a lifetime for many people. She tries to keep the issue in the forefront at Love Life For Now. She talks about some of the initiatives such as the heel-a-thon where men and women walk a mile in high heels with the message that the pain that you feel from walking a mile in the heels doesn’t compare to the pain that victims feel going through dv relationships and after they leave. She talks about another initiative during October which is dv awareness month where they ask for donations of sheets and linens because often times when someone is fleeing a dv situation they are leaving with just the clothes on their back and nothing else. When they arrive at the shelter and have clean sheets and a pillow it can make all the difference and gives them a sense of dignity.
ON AWARENESS
Lovern talks about how one of the biggest things that people are unaware of when it comes to dv is how many people are affected by it. She says you don’t know what you don’t know and when you come from an environment where dv is normalized or accepted you may not even know that dv it is not ok. She talks about the statistic that one in every four women have been affected by dv. She talks about how this drives her to be a small part of the solution and to focus on education and awareness around the issue.
ON PARTNERING
Lovern discusses how she partners with dv agencies on giving back as part of her initiative. She explains that at least 60 to 70% goes back to dv agencies and that she focuses on one agency per year. This year they have partnered with Transition House based out of Cambridge, MA. She points out that dv shelters are not like homeless shelters but that it is almost always in a home or apartment setting where each survivor is given their own room and then shares the common spaces. Lovern talks about how she was able to tour Transition House and how immaculate and beautiful it is. She urges listeners to learn more about them and to see what services they offer. She explains that they take you to a place of stabilization through services such as housing management, financial literacy, legal advocacy, childcare, counseling, therapy and more. Another initiative that Love Life Now Foundation has been able to curate a get safe fund to try and bridge the gap between when someone flees and getting them to somewhere safe.
LOVERN’S BOOK, THE LEGACY HE LEFT ME
Lovern talks about her journey and experiences and how she had often discounted her own story but had people in her life who were telling her that she needed to share her story. She reached out to a friend and asked for her help in writing the book. She knew she wanted to call it The Legacy He Left Me because of her experiences with dv as a child. Through a connection she had a publishing company reach out to her and was then signed with Paperclip Publishing. She talks about how the book and memoir is an extension of the awareness around dv. She also discusses how it was a difficult process to recount the details and get her facts and dates straight and how it was forcing her and her family to revisit difficult times. She openly shared with her following that she was seeking therapy because it was so difficult and she knew she needed help and wanted to connect with someone who could help address the things she was dealing with. As she understood how to deal with the triggers she began to get a sense that she could deal with her traumas as they popped up. She also wants to normalize and advocate for seeking therapy. Additionally she talks about the cover of her book and how it represents the split personality of what dv survivors walk around with every day.
LOVERN’S MESSAGE TO DV VICTIMS
Your voice is powerful. Lovern stresses that dv abusers prey on you being silent and stresses that if you are a victim, saying something to somebody can be the best thing that you can do. She recommends looking up where there is a dv agency in your area and reaching out and asking how they can help you safely.
Book Club Recommendations: The Legacy He Left Me
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