the difference between taking care of yourself and self care
Self-care is all the rage right now. It’s talked about as much as the pandemic that is causing us to need so much self-care, to begin with. But as a woman who works full time for multiple companies and is raising a very energetic toddler, I’ve been getting mixed messages about self-care.
Some say self-care is simply taking a minute during the day to take a deep breath and re-focus. Some say it’s going for a run. Then, some say for moms, taking a shower is self-care. Some say that’s BS. Me. I am some. There’s a difference between taking care of yourself and the all-important self-care, and I want to set the record straight. Or my version of it, anyway. Let’s start with a theory…
Call me Pharrel, but I think the trouble from differentiating between taking care of yourself and self-care comes from blurred lines. When mental health awareness started creeping to the forefront of our collective consciousness, people began to recognize the importance of taking care of themselves not just physically, but emotionally too. Soon though, people who didn’t suffer from mental illness started talking about self-care as a solution to mental illness, and stuff started to get mixed up. Feeling hopeless and depressed? Do a face mask! Having panic attacks at the grocery store? Take a hot shower! Here’s the thing: if you do suffer from mental illness, sometimes self-care IS just taking a shower. Just getting out of bed can be considered self-care if you are in the throes of depression. But if you’re a woman who works 60 hours a week, or a stay-at-home mom of four kids, a dog, and a hamster, showering doesn’t count as self-care, and TBH, people better stop categorizing it as such.
There was a time in my life when getting out of bed, brushing my teeth, running a comb through my hair, ya know, the essentials, WAS self-care. I was struggling deeply with postpartum depression and anxiety, and taking care of my baby was about all I could take care of. Maybe that’s why I get my hackles up when people say “oh girl, you need some self-care. Go take a quick shower.” Um, hello? A quick shower is not relaxing, and definitely doesn’t re-focus me as a mom or an employee. Let’s try a long bath while reading a book, with zero interruptions. You want me to take time for myself? How about throwing me a gift card for a massage. It took me a long time to get to this point, but now that I am able to take care of myself (thanks, meds and therapy!), I can also prioritize self-care, and it’s awesome. My therapist helped me reframe my thinking on this, and I found that making a handy chart was helpful, so here’s one for you. I even tried to make it pretty!
The point is self-care should be like giving yourself a treat. A little, or big, GUILT-FREE something that helps you take a step back from the daily grind to avoid burnout. It is especially important to actively practice self-care if it doesn’t come easy to you. I can’t tell you how many times I have literally Googled “self-care ideas” and honestly, there are good ones out there that I would not have thought of! For many, myself included, taking time for self-care can feel selfish, that that’s why it’s important to practice and prioritize. Because you will be your best employee, partner, mom, and friend when you are not only taking care of yourself but prioritizing self-care, too.
MEET THE AUTHOR
Madison powers
Madison is a freelance writer and content creator for multiple outlets, including POPSUGAR, Whiteboard Marketing, and 95 Creative. She also works part-time at a private school outside of Boston, where she is responsible for the full scope of marketing and communications initiatives. Her favorite things to write about are motherhood and women's mental health, because she's a mom who deals with mental health issues. Go figure! When she isn't writing articles or creating social media content for clients, Madison loves hanging out with her family and switching between HGTV shows and true crime documentaries. Samples of her work can be found at madisonpowers.contently.com and she can be reached at maddiepowwrites@gmail.com.